they say "time heals all wounds" - they're wrong

Today it's three years without you. And it still hurts as much as at the day we let you go. Even more.
There's no day without thinking about you, without talking about you.

If I could I would turn back time to enjoy the given time with you much more.
What I regret most are the many times we've fought.

And I still wish you would have been able to hug me. Really hug me. To tell me that you love me and that you're proud of me. I know you did and you were. But I would have loved to hear it from you.
I know why you weren't able to show your love for us. And I can understand it, somehow. Nevertheless...

I wish we weren't on holidays when it happened. Then I would have joined you on the way to the hospital. Maybe everything would have been different then. Maybe you were still alive then.
No one knows for sure, but it's a possibility. Something I think about over and over again. Still.

I still regret that my last spoken words to you were "Can I talk to Mum, please?". But who knew that this was the last chance talking to you?
I wish I would have been able to say good bye. To tell you one last time how much I love you and how proud I am of you.

We miss you so much, Dad!
Mum misses you, Danny misses you, too. Janni would never say it aloud but he's still suffering so much.
And my lil one, your little sunshine, still has your photo above her bed. She still loves to go to your grave, water the flowers. She often asks me about death. She even dreams about it. And then she thinks about some phantasy stories that includes you. How you saved her from falling out of bed by coming to her on a star and catch her.
I love the story of her dream when you came to visit her and you told her that she doesn't need to be afraid. That you're there to protect her. And us.

And I know you do.