Here I am, not in Australia but in Austria. And it's fucking cold!! Anyone who wants to gimme some warmth?? Anyone?
I just wanted to wish u all a happy new year full of joy, health and love!
Will think of u on Midnight and will drink at least one beer for u! ;-)
Dad, I wish u a wonderful birthday. I'm thinking of u the whole day, it's ur day!! Love u, Dad!
So to all of u: take care, feel hugged and kissed,
foxtrot
happy new year
Here I am, not in Australia but in Austria. And it's fucking cold!! Anyone who wants to gimme some warmth?? Anyone?
I just wanted to wish u all a happy new year full of joy, health and love!
Will think of u on Midnight and will drink at least one beer for u! ;-)
Dad, I wish u a wonderful birthday. I'm thinking of u the whole day, it's ur day!! Love u, Dad!
So to all of u: take care, feel hugged and kissed,
foxtrot
I just wanted to wish u all a happy new year full of joy, health and love!
Will think of u on Midnight and will drink at least one beer for u! ;-)
Dad, I wish u a wonderful birthday. I'm thinking of u the whole day, it's ur day!! Love u, Dad!
So to all of u: take care, feel hugged and kissed,
foxtrot
have urself...
...a merry little Christmas!
Hope u have a great 'n peaceful time!!
May some of ur wishes come true, but most of all I wish u a great time with the ones u love!
Most of the people I love spent Christmas Eve with me, so I think I can call me lucky, huh?
Some people I love weren't here with me - but my thoughts were with them, every minute. And I hope that these people do know that.
And there are still some presents left under the tree ;-) So just wait for our next meeting.
Dad, this has been the 3rd Christmas without u. I miss u so much. We miss u. If u could just see how happy my little one was this eve! How excited she was during the whole day. And when I put the presents under the tree while she was waiting with the others in the corridor believing that the Christ Child would have been with me in the living room... I had tears in my eyes when I joined her in the corridor and saw all the excitemend... And it hurts me that u can't be with us, can't see her. And that she can't be with u anymore... :'-(
I'm sure u'd be proud of her.
My thoughts were with u, Dad. Not only on Christmas.
Okay, being sad is the last thing I wish anyone of u. So it seems to be paradox being sad by myself.
I'll have a last cigarette and then I'll hit the hay.
Wish u all a great Christmas Day!!
have urself...
...a merry little Christmas!
Hope u have a great 'n peaceful time!!
May some of ur wishes come true, but most of all I wish u a great time with the ones u love!
Most of the people I love spent Christmas Eve with me, so I think I can call me lucky, huh?
Some people I love weren't here with me - but my thoughts were with them, every minute. And I hope that these people do know that.
And there are still some presents left under the tree ;-) So just wait for our next meeting.
Dad, this has been the 3rd Christmas without u. I miss u so much. We miss u. If u could just see how happy my little one was this eve! How excited she was during the whole day. And when I put the presents under the tree while she was waiting with the others in the corridor believing that the Christ Child would have been with me in the living room... I had tears in my eyes when I joined her in the corridor and saw all the excitemend... And it hurts me that u can't be with us, can't see her. And that she can't be with u anymore... :'-(
I'm sure u'd be proud of her.
My thoughts were with u, Dad. Not only on Christmas.
Okay, being sad is the last thing I wish anyone of u. So it seems to be paradox being sad by myself.
I'll have a last cigarette and then I'll hit the hay.
Wish u all a great Christmas Day!!
not just words, not just a song and not just a movie
It's words like these ones, songs like this one, that makes me wonder about love and life. It's a movie like that one that makes me believe in love and life.
On the other side it makes me homesick, makes me wanna run away. That movie is like a battle to me.
And I can't wait to watch it again and again and again. Even if I have to go to the theatre all alone...
By The Boab Tree
Sing and I will hear you
No matter where you are
A song to light the darkest night
And guide me from afar
And I will never be alone
Now I know you’re somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
A reason to believe
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
Lay your arms around me
Like the falling rain
Let the feeling drown me
And life begins again
And I will never be afraid
Now I know you’re somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
The warming of the sun upon
The earth beneath my feet
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
Oh you are somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
And you’re the earth beneath my feet
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
On the other side it makes me homesick, makes me wanna run away. That movie is like a battle to me.
And I can't wait to watch it again and again and again. Even if I have to go to the theatre all alone...
By The Boab Tree
Sing and I will hear you
No matter where you are
A song to light the darkest night
And guide me from afar
And I will never be alone
Now I know you’re somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
A reason to believe
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
Lay your arms around me
Like the falling rain
Let the feeling drown me
And life begins again
And I will never be afraid
Now I know you’re somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
The warming of the sun upon
The earth beneath my feet
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
Oh you are somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
And you’re the earth beneath my feet
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
not just words, not just a song and not just a movie
It's words like these ones, songs like this one, that makes me wonder about love and life. It's a movie like that one that makes me believe in love and life.
On the other side it makes me homesick, makes me wanna run away. That movie is like a battle to me.
And I can't wait to watch it again and again and again. Even if I have to go to the theatre all alone...
By The Boab Tree
Sing and I will hear you
No matter where you are
A song to light the darkest night
And guide me from afar
And I will never be alone
Now I know you’re somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
A reason to believe
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
Lay your arms around me
Like the falling rain
Let the feeling drown me
And life begins again
And I will never be afraid
Now I know you’re somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
The warming of the sun upon
The earth beneath my feet
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
Oh you are somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
And you’re the earth beneath my feet
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
On the other side it makes me homesick, makes me wanna run away. That movie is like a battle to me.
And I can't wait to watch it again and again and again. Even if I have to go to the theatre all alone...
By The Boab Tree
Sing and I will hear you
No matter where you are
A song to light the darkest night
And guide me from afar
And I will never be alone
Now I know you’re somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
A reason to believe
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
Lay your arms around me
Like the falling rain
Let the feeling drown me
And life begins again
And I will never be afraid
Now I know you’re somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
The warming of the sun upon
The earth beneath my feet
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
Oh you are somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
And you’re the earth beneath my feet
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree
hurt
Tried to be rational. Listened to reasons.
Went in circles. Searched for a solution.
In the end we found pain. Hurt each other.
Do what we don't want to do. And won't do what we wanna do most.
Anything we won? Or have we just lost something?
Things will never be the same again. Nothing will be like before.
Nothing.
Sitting here, can't sleep. Sitting here for nearly two hours, since it's been done.
Don't know what to do. What to think. What to feel.
All I know is that it hurts.
Hurt each other.
Even that's the last thing anyone of us wanted to do.
In the end that's all we did.
Went in circles. Searched for a solution.
In the end we found pain. Hurt each other.
Do what we don't want to do. And won't do what we wanna do most.
Anything we won? Or have we just lost something?
Things will never be the same again. Nothing will be like before.
Nothing.
Sitting here, can't sleep. Sitting here for nearly two hours, since it's been done.
Don't know what to do. What to think. What to feel.
All I know is that it hurts.
Hurt each other.
Even that's the last thing anyone of us wanted to do.
In the end that's all we did.
hurt
Tried to be rational. Listened to reasons.
Went in circles. Searched for a solution.
In the end we found pain. Hurt each other.
Do what we don't want to do. And won't do what we wanna do most.
Anything we won? Or have we just lost something?
Things will never be the same again. Nothing will be like before.
Nothing.
Sitting here, can't sleep. Sitting here for nearly two hours, since it's been done.
Don't know what to do. What to think. What to feel.
All I know is that it hurts.
Hurt each other.
Even that's the last thing anyone of us wanted to do.
In the end that's all we did.
Went in circles. Searched for a solution.
In the end we found pain. Hurt each other.
Do what we don't want to do. And won't do what we wanna do most.
Anything we won? Or have we just lost something?
Things will never be the same again. Nothing will be like before.
Nothing.
Sitting here, can't sleep. Sitting here for nearly two hours, since it's been done.
Don't know what to do. What to think. What to feel.
All I know is that it hurts.
Hurt each other.
Even that's the last thing anyone of us wanted to do.
In the end that's all we did.
review of the year's events
So, this year will be over in 11 days. Wow. Time flew by very fast. Sometimes it really scares me. Let's look back.
In January we came back from our trip to Australia. How I miss these days. Were amongst the best days of my life. We had so much fun Down Under. We also had some hard times there, lots of tears and pain. But we kinda dealed with it. And I don't wanna miss these memories. Will treasure them deep inside my heart. All in all I'd say it was the best time of my life. And I can't wait to go back to Oz.
In April I finished university, finally. Was such a great feeling to know that I made it. There have been times when I thought about to quit studying. Times when I wanted to run away. But I kept on going. And I made it. Kinda proud of myself ;-)
In May trinity and me visited nighty in Galway. We had a lot of fun and the landscape of Ireland is so beautiful. Old castles and churches everywhere, and the stone walls... Such a beautiful country!
In July the 2nd X-Files movie was released in theatres. Some philes from xfiles-mania.de went to Kassel to watch the movie all together. Being crazy rules. We had so much fun, walking through the city with the banner, playing all these games in the restaurant afterwards.
And just a few days later we flew to London to attend the red carpent premiere of the movie. Lucky enough we won tickets for the premiere. And the best of all: I met my wife again! Hell yeah, after 3 years!
In August we had the 1st David Duchovny Film Festival *g* What can I say? Think u already know it. Yer, was a lot of fun :-P
At the end of August I started my traineeship at school. Finally working, finally teaching. That's what I worked for for 5 years at university.
In November my daughter turned 4. That was a day when I realised how fast time goes by. Got the feeling it was just yesterday when I was pregnant. Unbelievable.
In December we had the great chance to attend the premiere of Hugh Jackman's new film "Australia" in Berlin. This movie is one of the greatest ones I've ever seen! And of course Hugh was adorable - not only in the movie ;-)
So I think I had a lot of highlights this year... Wasn't that bad *g*
And yet the year's not over. I'm sure there are some more things coming up. And hopefully the new year will be all in all a good one, too :-)
In January we came back from our trip to Australia. How I miss these days. Were amongst the best days of my life. We had so much fun Down Under. We also had some hard times there, lots of tears and pain. But we kinda dealed with it. And I don't wanna miss these memories. Will treasure them deep inside my heart. All in all I'd say it was the best time of my life. And I can't wait to go back to Oz.
In April I finished university, finally. Was such a great feeling to know that I made it. There have been times when I thought about to quit studying. Times when I wanted to run away. But I kept on going. And I made it. Kinda proud of myself ;-)
In May trinity and me visited nighty in Galway. We had a lot of fun and the landscape of Ireland is so beautiful. Old castles and churches everywhere, and the stone walls... Such a beautiful country!
In July the 2nd X-Files movie was released in theatres. Some philes from xfiles-mania.de went to Kassel to watch the movie all together. Being crazy rules. We had so much fun, walking through the city with the banner, playing all these games in the restaurant afterwards.
And just a few days later we flew to London to attend the red carpent premiere of the movie. Lucky enough we won tickets for the premiere. And the best of all: I met my wife again! Hell yeah, after 3 years!
In August we had the 1st David Duchovny Film Festival *g* What can I say? Think u already know it. Yer, was a lot of fun :-P
At the end of August I started my traineeship at school. Finally working, finally teaching. That's what I worked for for 5 years at university.
In November my daughter turned 4. That was a day when I realised how fast time goes by. Got the feeling it was just yesterday when I was pregnant. Unbelievable.
In December we had the great chance to attend the premiere of Hugh Jackman's new film "Australia" in Berlin. This movie is one of the greatest ones I've ever seen! And of course Hugh was adorable - not only in the movie ;-)
So I think I had a lot of highlights this year... Wasn't that bad *g*
And yet the year's not over. I'm sure there are some more things coming up. And hopefully the new year will be all in all a good one, too :-)
review of the year's events
So, this year will be over in 11 days. Wow. Time flew by very fast. Sometimes it really scares me. Let's look back.
In January we came back from our trip to Australia. How I miss these days. Were amongst the best days of my life. We had so much fun Down Under. We also had some hard times there, lots of tears and pain. But we kinda dealed with it. And I don't wanna miss these memories. Will treasure them deep inside my heart. All in all I'd say it was the best time of my life. And I can't wait to go back to Oz.
In April I finished university, finally. Was such a great feeling to know that I made it. There have been times when I thought about to quit studying. Times when I wanted to run away. But I kept on going. And I made it. Kinda proud of myself ;-)
In May trinity and me visited nighty in Galway. We had a lot of fun and the landscape of Ireland is so beautiful. Old castles and churches everywhere, and the stone walls... Such a beautiful country!
In July the 2nd X-Files movie was released in theatres. Some philes from xfiles-mania.de went to Kassel to watch the movie all together. Being crazy rules. We had so much fun, walking through the city with the banner, playing all these games in the restaurant afterwards.
And just a few days later we flew to London to attend the red carpent premiere of the movie. Lucky enough we won tickets for the premiere. And the best of all: I met my wife again! Hell yeah, after 3 years!
In August we had the 1st David Duchovny Film Festival *g* What can I say? Think u already know it. Yer, was a lot of fun :-P
At the end of August I started my traineeship at school. Finally working, finally teaching. That's what I worked for for 5 years at university.
In November my daughter turned 4. That was a day when I realised how fast time goes by. Got the feeling it was just yesterday when I was pregnant. Unbelievable.
In December we had the great chance to attend the premiere of Hugh Jackman's new film "Australia" in Berlin. This movie is one of the greatest ones I've ever seen! And of course Hugh was adorable - not only in the movie ;-)
So I think I had a lot of highlights this year... Wasn't that bad *g*
And yet the year's not over. I'm sure there are some more things coming up. And hopefully the new year will be all in all a good one, too :-)
In January we came back from our trip to Australia. How I miss these days. Were amongst the best days of my life. We had so much fun Down Under. We also had some hard times there, lots of tears and pain. But we kinda dealed with it. And I don't wanna miss these memories. Will treasure them deep inside my heart. All in all I'd say it was the best time of my life. And I can't wait to go back to Oz.
In April I finished university, finally. Was such a great feeling to know that I made it. There have been times when I thought about to quit studying. Times when I wanted to run away. But I kept on going. And I made it. Kinda proud of myself ;-)
In May trinity and me visited nighty in Galway. We had a lot of fun and the landscape of Ireland is so beautiful. Old castles and churches everywhere, and the stone walls... Such a beautiful country!
In July the 2nd X-Files movie was released in theatres. Some philes from xfiles-mania.de went to Kassel to watch the movie all together. Being crazy rules. We had so much fun, walking through the city with the banner, playing all these games in the restaurant afterwards.
And just a few days later we flew to London to attend the red carpent premiere of the movie. Lucky enough we won tickets for the premiere. And the best of all: I met my wife again! Hell yeah, after 3 years!
In August we had the 1st David Duchovny Film Festival *g* What can I say? Think u already know it. Yer, was a lot of fun :-P
At the end of August I started my traineeship at school. Finally working, finally teaching. That's what I worked for for 5 years at university.
In November my daughter turned 4. That was a day when I realised how fast time goes by. Got the feeling it was just yesterday when I was pregnant. Unbelievable.
In December we had the great chance to attend the premiere of Hugh Jackman's new film "Australia" in Berlin. This movie is one of the greatest ones I've ever seen! And of course Hugh was adorable - not only in the movie ;-)
So I think I had a lot of highlights this year... Wasn't that bad *g*
And yet the year's not over. I'm sure there are some more things coming up. And hopefully the new year will be all in all a good one, too :-)
the inner kid
What happens when u bring me to a place with a huge playground?
Exactly, I need to try everything!!
So I've been to workshops from Monday til Wednesday and during one workshop we went to a park with some playgrounds. I just couldn't resist ;-)
So yer, I had a lot of fun *gg*
There where different workshops, and every one was fun. In the evenings we all sat together, played some games, talked, laughed...
Time went by way too fast and I really hope that we can do sth. like this again when it's warmer outside. Just two days, all or the most of us, together. Maybe camping or whatever. Just having fun.
It's really great that we're such a small group of eleven people. And we all get along with each other really well.
Tomorrow's the last day of school, then we've got X-Mas holidays for two weeks.
Still not prepared for Christmas, need to buy some gifts soon ;-)
On Christmas Day we'll go to my boyfriend's parents where we'll stay two days. And then we finally will drive to Vienna, where my wife lives. Can't wait to see her again!! Will be so much fun! Haven't been at her place for three years. Back then my daughter was only 8 months old and I had no clue that I would get to know my boyfriend 4 months later. And now, 3 years later, we'll go there together.
But before that I have to do a few more things here.
Like cleaning the flat, and on Monday I'll have an appointment with my piercer, hell yeah! It's about time for a new piercing ;-)
Talking about time: Have to end now, there are so many things waiting for me...
the inner kid
What happens when u bring me to a place with a huge playground?
Exactly, I need to try everything!!
So I've been to workshops from Monday til Wednesday and during one workshop we went to a park with some playgrounds. I just couldn't resist ;-)
So yer, I had a lot of fun *gg*
There where different workshops, and every one was fun. In the evenings we all sat together, played some games, talked, laughed...
Time went by way too fast and I really hope that we can do sth. like this again when it's warmer outside. Just two days, all or the most of us, together. Maybe camping or whatever. Just having fun.
It's really great that we're such a small group of eleven people. And we all get along with each other really well.
Tomorrow's the last day of school, then we've got X-Mas holidays for two weeks.
Still not prepared for Christmas, need to buy some gifts soon ;-)
On Christmas Day we'll go to my boyfriend's parents where we'll stay two days. And then we finally will drive to Vienna, where my wife lives. Can't wait to see her again!! Will be so much fun! Haven't been at her place for three years. Back then my daughter was only 8 months old and I had no clue that I would get to know my boyfriend 4 months later. And now, 3 years later, we'll go there together.
But before that I have to do a few more things here.
Like cleaning the flat, and on Monday I'll have an appointment with my piercer, hell yeah! It's about time for a new piercing ;-)
Talking about time: Have to end now, there are so many things waiting for me...
thinking of u, Dad...
Just listened to one of "your" songs, one of the songs that was played at ur funeral. And it still drives me tears into my eyes. I miss u, Dad. I really miss u. Every day, every night. It seems like this pain won't fade, like it'll stay forever. Thinking of u still hurts. Talking about u with Liv still hurts. That's why I am not that often at ur grave. I just can't stand the pain. I don't wanna face ur grave, the gravestone with ur picture and name on it.
This year will be the 3rd Christmas without u. And again I managed to get away during this time. I don't really plan doing it, it just turns out this way for the 2nd time. I guess my subconscious just makes me do that.
K, managed to handle the tears...
So here's your song:
Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word
Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass
Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day
thinking of u, Dad...
Just listened to one of "your" songs, one of the songs that was played at ur funeral. And it still drives me tears into my eyes. I miss u, Dad. I really miss u. Every day, every night. It seems like this pain won't fade, like it'll stay forever. Thinking of u still hurts. Talking about u with Liv still hurts. That's why I am not that often at ur grave. I just can't stand the pain. I don't wanna face ur grave, the gravestone with ur picture and name on it.
This year will be the 3rd Christmas without u. And again I managed to get away during this time. I don't really plan doing it, it just turns out this way for the 2nd time. I guess my subconscious just makes me do that.
K, managed to handle the tears...
So here's your song:
Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word
Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass
Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day
fun, panic and woefulness
Long time no see. I just hadn't the energy to write anything. I'm still tired as hell, a condition I'm living with for the last 3 weeks, I guess.
So what happened since my last entry? Hm, I went to visit dagildamu in Bavaria and we really had a lot of fun. I'll add a video of us to this entry *gg* [Note: We're absolute beginners in playing the e-guitar and playing the drums and we just played by ear, so we didn't play from the score. It was just for fun - and yer, we had a lot of fun ;D ]
It was really great, just too short.
On Monday I'll have my first teaching visitation. The first out of 13. I'm so fucking nervous and I still have to organize a few things.
I'll show a physics lesson about magnetism. There are 5 learning stations, each providing a little experiment. And each station contains 3 different degrees of difficulty, so that every pupil has a chance to run the experiments. I hope that the kids will learn via these experiments which material is magnetic and that they have a lot of fun while learning.
It's not very easy as the kids haven't done experiments by themselves before at school. The trail lesson where they had to do 2 experiments with air was a total desaster :-/
Hope my bf is coming home soon, as I have to go to the mall without the little one. Hate waiting.
Well, at the moment I just hate everything.
Last year at this date I was packing the last things into our suitcase. I still miss Oz so much. Wish I could go there again very soon. I miss the warmth, miss the people, miss the country. Miss it all :'-(
So what happened since my last entry? Hm, I went to visit dagildamu in Bavaria and we really had a lot of fun. I'll add a video of us to this entry *gg* [Note: We're absolute beginners in playing the e-guitar and playing the drums and we just played by ear, so we didn't play from the score. It was just for fun - and yer, we had a lot of fun ;D ]
It was really great, just too short.
On Monday I'll have my first teaching visitation. The first out of 13. I'm so fucking nervous and I still have to organize a few things.
I'll show a physics lesson about magnetism. There are 5 learning stations, each providing a little experiment. And each station contains 3 different degrees of difficulty, so that every pupil has a chance to run the experiments. I hope that the kids will learn via these experiments which material is magnetic and that they have a lot of fun while learning.
It's not very easy as the kids haven't done experiments by themselves before at school. The trail lesson where they had to do 2 experiments with air was a total desaster :-/
Hope my bf is coming home soon, as I have to go to the mall without the little one. Hate waiting.
Well, at the moment I just hate everything.
Last year at this date I was packing the last things into our suitcase. I still miss Oz so much. Wish I could go there again very soon. I miss the warmth, miss the people, miss the country. Miss it all :'-(
fun, panic and woefulness
Long time no see. I just hadn't the energy to write anything. I'm still tired as hell, a condition I'm living with for the last 3 weeks, I guess.
So what happened since my last entry? Hm, I went to visit dagildamu in Bavaria and we really had a lot of fun. I'll add a video of us to this entry *gg* [Note: We're absolute beginners in playing the e-guitar and playing the drums and we just played by ear, so we didn't play from the score. It was just for fun - and yer, we had a lot of fun ;D ]
It was really great, just too short.
On Monday I'll have my first teaching visitation. The first out of 13. I'm so fucking nervous and I still have to organize a few things.
I'll show a physics lesson about magnetism. There are 5 learning stations, each providing a little experiment. And each station contains 3 different degrees of difficulty, so that every pupil has a chance to run the experiments. I hope that the kids will learn via these experiments which material is magnetic and that they have a lot of fun while learning.
It's not very easy as the kids haven't done experiments by themselves before at school. The trail lesson where they had to do 2 experiments with air was a total desaster :-/
Hope my bf is coming home soon, as I have to go to the mall without the little one. Hate waiting.
Well, at the moment I just hate everything.
Last year at this date I was packing the last things into our suitcase. I still miss Oz so much. Wish I could go there again very soon. I miss the warmth, miss the people, miss the country. Miss it all :'-(
So what happened since my last entry? Hm, I went to visit dagildamu in Bavaria and we really had a lot of fun. I'll add a video of us to this entry *gg* [Note: We're absolute beginners in playing the e-guitar and playing the drums and we just played by ear, so we didn't play from the score. It was just for fun - and yer, we had a lot of fun ;D ]
It was really great, just too short.
On Monday I'll have my first teaching visitation. The first out of 13. I'm so fucking nervous and I still have to organize a few things.
I'll show a physics lesson about magnetism. There are 5 learning stations, each providing a little experiment. And each station contains 3 different degrees of difficulty, so that every pupil has a chance to run the experiments. I hope that the kids will learn via these experiments which material is magnetic and that they have a lot of fun while learning.
It's not very easy as the kids haven't done experiments by themselves before at school. The trail lesson where they had to do 2 experiments with air was a total desaster :-/
Hope my bf is coming home soon, as I have to go to the mall without the little one. Hate waiting.
Well, at the moment I just hate everything.
Last year at this date I was packing the last things into our suitcase. I still miss Oz so much. Wish I could go there again very soon. I miss the warmth, miss the people, miss the country. Miss it all :'-(
fucking hate winter time
I'm tired. I need more sleep.
But when shall I get that sleep? After work I'll pick up my lil one and spend the rest of the day with her. After dinner I have to prepare my next lessons.
By the way: Will have to teach 8 lessons instead of 2 from next week on. Dunno how to do that.
After preparing my lessons I'll check emails and message boards. And then, finally, I can go to bed.
And when I really manage it to go to bed before 12am my boyfriend keeps me awake by reading me a story. Great. Thanks for not letting me sleep. Gah!
No, I really don't need my sleep. It's not that I have to fight to keep my eyes open at school.
At the moment I'm listening to P!nk's new album "Funhouse". It's calmer, it's more emotional than her other ones. And I love it. It totally fits my current state of mind.
I wish I could get out of it. Find the button.
What a fucking mixture: Lack of sleep and being depressed.
What about u, any ideas?
But when shall I get that sleep? After work I'll pick up my lil one and spend the rest of the day with her. After dinner I have to prepare my next lessons.
By the way: Will have to teach 8 lessons instead of 2 from next week on. Dunno how to do that.
After preparing my lessons I'll check emails and message boards. And then, finally, I can go to bed.
And when I really manage it to go to bed before 12am my boyfriend keeps me awake by reading me a story. Great. Thanks for not letting me sleep. Gah!
No, I really don't need my sleep. It's not that I have to fight to keep my eyes open at school.
At the moment I'm listening to P!nk's new album "Funhouse". It's calmer, it's more emotional than her other ones. And I love it. It totally fits my current state of mind.
I wish I could get out of it. Find the button.
What a fucking mixture: Lack of sleep and being depressed.
What about u, any ideas?
fucking hate winter time
I'm tired. I need more sleep.
But when shall I get that sleep? After work I'll pick up my lil one and spend the rest of the day with her. After dinner I have to prepare my next lessons.
By the way: Will have to teach 8 lessons instead of 2 from next week on. Dunno how to do that.
After preparing my lessons I'll check emails and message boards. And then, finally, I can go to bed.
And when I really manage it to go to bed before 12am my boyfriend keeps me awake by reading me a story. Great. Thanks for not letting me sleep. Gah!
No, I really don't need my sleep. It's not that I have to fight to keep my eyes open at school.
At the moment I'm listening to P!nk's new album "Funhouse". It's calmer, it's more emotional than her other ones. And I love it. It totally fits my current state of mind.
I wish I could get out of it. Find the button.
What a fucking mixture: Lack of sleep and being depressed.
What about u, any ideas?
But when shall I get that sleep? After work I'll pick up my lil one and spend the rest of the day with her. After dinner I have to prepare my next lessons.
By the way: Will have to teach 8 lessons instead of 2 from next week on. Dunno how to do that.
After preparing my lessons I'll check emails and message boards. And then, finally, I can go to bed.
And when I really manage it to go to bed before 12am my boyfriend keeps me awake by reading me a story. Great. Thanks for not letting me sleep. Gah!
No, I really don't need my sleep. It's not that I have to fight to keep my eyes open at school.
At the moment I'm listening to P!nk's new album "Funhouse". It's calmer, it's more emotional than her other ones. And I love it. It totally fits my current state of mind.
I wish I could get out of it. Find the button.
What a fucking mixture: Lack of sleep and being depressed.
What about u, any ideas?
running is easy, staying is hard
The last days, including today, suck.
Okay, school was fine, even my lesson today was great. The kids worked well and seemed to have a lot of fun. And also the letters they wrote me for my birthday are sooo cute. So school's fine. But everything else just sucks.
I dunno where to start. Had a root canal treatment yesterday, and now there's a huge cavity in my tooth and my dentist won't fill it before next Monday cause he's afraid that another inflammation could appear. So I can't eat very well and need to rinse my mouth with chamomile tea. I FUCKING HATE CHAMOMILE TEA!!
But it's not just that tooth thing.
Sometimes I just want to runaway. Far far away where no one would ever find me. Just being alone, in silence.
Today I just had to fight back my tears. All the pressure, all the work, the responsibility, sometimes just get too much. But I can't run away. I need to stay, need to be calm.
Is it too much when I want a lil more help? Just a lil bit more?
What's so difficult to understand a few things, to see a few things?
I really don't get it. Maybe I really want too much. Maybe it's just my fault.
I don't know. At the moment I've got the feeling as I don't know anything. My head's empty, but therefor my heart's beating really fast.
Guess I'm running away on the inside.
running is easy, staying is hard
The last days, including today, suck.
Okay, school was fine, even my lesson today was great. The kids worked well and seemed to have a lot of fun. And also the letters they wrote me for my birthday are sooo cute. So school's fine. But everything else just sucks.
I dunno where to start. Had a root canal treatment yesterday, and now there's a huge cavity in my tooth and my dentist won't fill it before next Monday cause he's afraid that another inflammation could appear. So I can't eat very well and need to rinse my mouth with chamomile tea. I FUCKING HATE CHAMOMILE TEA!!
But it's not just that tooth thing.
Sometimes I just want to runaway. Far far away where no one would ever find me. Just being alone, in silence.
Today I just had to fight back my tears. All the pressure, all the work, the responsibility, sometimes just get too much. But I can't run away. I need to stay, need to be calm.
Is it too much when I want a lil more help? Just a lil bit more?
What's so difficult to understand a few things, to see a few things?
I really don't get it. Maybe I really want too much. Maybe it's just my fault.
I don't know. At the moment I've got the feeling as I don't know anything. My head's empty, but therefor my heart's beating really fast.
Guess I'm running away on the inside.
dammit
My lil brother just told me that he and a friend of him won a flight to Oz which includes two weeks travelling around in a camping van.
And what do I do? I start crying. I just can't feel happy for him. I really can't.
That's not right. He doesn't deserve being in Oz. I mean, although he's my brother, he often behaves like the biggest asshole on earth. And believe me, it's not easy saying this about ur own brother.
Anyway, he was never really interested in Australia, he even doesn't know the capital of Oz. I'm pretty sure he believes it's Sydney. He thinks koalas are bears and when u ask him how the rock in the middle of Australia is called he wouldn't have any answer.
And now he's allowed to travel around, to be there were I belong. At home. That's so not right!!
I feel terrible because I can't be happy for him. I tried, but I can't.
Yer, maybe I am jealous. Maybe I'm not better than him. But I do know that he doesn't belong to Oz.
Fuck.
I miss Australia. I miss it so badly.
dammit
My lil brother just told me that he and a friend of him won a flight to Oz which includes two weeks travelling around in a camping van.
And what do I do? I start crying. I just can't feel happy for him. I really can't.
That's not right. He doesn't deserve being in Oz. I mean, although he's my brother, he often behaves like the biggest asshole on earth. And believe me, it's not easy saying this about ur own brother.
Anyway, he was never really interested in Australia, he even doesn't know the capital of Oz. I'm pretty sure he believes it's Sydney. He thinks koalas are bears and when u ask him how the rock in the middle of Australia is called he wouldn't have any answer.
And now he's allowed to travel around, to be there were I belong. At home. That's so not right!!
I feel terrible because I can't be happy for him. I tried, but I can't.
Yer, maybe I am jealous. Maybe I'm not better than him. But I do know that he doesn't belong to Oz.
Fuck.
I miss Australia. I miss it so badly.
moody
fuck.
Now I know how Hank Moody must feel. This emptiness inside. So many feelings and no way to let them out, to express them. Just me. Alone.
I would love to write them all down, but I can't. I don't have the words. Don't have the strength. It's like my feelings are locked inside of me. They're begging me to release them. To let them go. But I can't. I lost the key. Can't remember where I put it. Just lost it.
My feelings are trapped now. Maybe I'll find the key tomorrow, maybe on the day after tomorrow. Maybe in a week, a month or a year. Or maybe never. Who knows? I don't.
I'm just sitting here, tired as hell, but don't wanna go to bed, cause I'm afraid of my dreams. Sometimes they just seem too real. I'm afraid of waking up, noticing that it was just a dream. It hurts.
But I can't stay awake forever - neither can I sleep forever. Too bad.
Just wish I could fly.
moody
fuck.
Now I know how Hank Moody must feel. This emptiness inside. So many feelings and no way to let them out, to express them. Just me. Alone.
I would love to write them all down, but I can't. I don't have the words. Don't have the strength. It's like my feelings are locked inside of me. They're begging me to release them. To let them go. But I can't. I lost the key. Can't remember where I put it. Just lost it.
My feelings are trapped now. Maybe I'll find the key tomorrow, maybe on the day after tomorrow. Maybe in a week, a month or a year. Or maybe never. Who knows? I don't.
I'm just sitting here, tired as hell, but don't wanna go to bed, cause I'm afraid of my dreams. Sometimes they just seem too real. I'm afraid of waking up, noticing that it was just a dream. It hurts.
But I can't stay awake forever - neither can I sleep forever. Too bad.
Just wish I could fly.
*growl*
Okay, who formed the expression of a "golden autumn"? What the fuck is so golden in autumn? Hm? Nothing! Everything is just grey, cold and muddy.
It's raining the whole damn day and I already turned the heating on. Normally I don't do that before the end of October and this year I did it in September.
What a fucking year! No summer and a damn cold autumn. I WANT SUMMER!
Right now it's raining like it's the end of the world.
And that's how I feel. Like it's the end of the world. I want to hide myself in my bed, put the blanket over my head and stay there until summer, or at least until spring.
Guess I just should hibernate. Then I'd miss this bloody time and all the rain, the cold, the thoughts...
And nope, it's not getting better having some warm thoughts or looking at all my holiday pix. No! Far from it!
I'll better go now, I have a meeting with my bed and my blanket *grrr*
It's raining the whole damn day and I already turned the heating on. Normally I don't do that before the end of October and this year I did it in September.
What a fucking year! No summer and a damn cold autumn. I WANT SUMMER!
Right now it's raining like it's the end of the world.
And that's how I feel. Like it's the end of the world. I want to hide myself in my bed, put the blanket over my head and stay there until summer, or at least until spring.
Guess I just should hibernate. Then I'd miss this bloody time and all the rain, the cold, the thoughts...
And nope, it's not getting better having some warm thoughts or looking at all my holiday pix. No! Far from it!
I'll better go now, I have a meeting with my bed and my blanket *grrr*
*growl*
Okay, who formed the expression of a "golden autumn"? What the fuck is so golden in autumn? Hm? Nothing! Everything is just grey, cold and muddy.
It's raining the whole damn day and I already turned the heating on. Normally I don't do that before the end of October and this year I did it in September.
What a fucking year! No summer and a damn cold autumn. I WANT SUMMER!
Right now it's raining like it's the end of the world.
And that's how I feel. Like it's the end of the world. I want to hide myself in my bed, put the blanket over my head and stay there until summer, or at least until spring.
Guess I just should hibernate. Then I'd miss this bloody time and all the rain, the cold, the thoughts...
And nope, it's not getting better having some warm thoughts or looking at all my holiday pix. No! Far from it!
I'll better go now, I have a meeting with my bed and my blanket *grrr*
It's raining the whole damn day and I already turned the heating on. Normally I don't do that before the end of October and this year I did it in September.
What a fucking year! No summer and a damn cold autumn. I WANT SUMMER!
Right now it's raining like it's the end of the world.
And that's how I feel. Like it's the end of the world. I want to hide myself in my bed, put the blanket over my head and stay there until summer, or at least until spring.
Guess I just should hibernate. Then I'd miss this bloody time and all the rain, the cold, the thoughts...
And nope, it's not getting better having some warm thoughts or looking at all my holiday pix. No! Far from it!
I'll better go now, I have a meeting with my bed and my blanket *grrr*
box of chocolates
Today's my day. It's the same as every year. Sitting here, doing nothing really important, just waiting for all the text messages, e-cards and calls, and being really surprised who remembers my birthday and who doesn't.
It's like a great box of chocolate. I look at the picture on the box and get excited about all these candies waiting for me inside of the box. Then I open it and - as every year - there are some chocolates missing. Like someone else has taken them away before I was able to check the box. And as u probably imagined, these missing chocolates were my favorites! I want them back!!
The box is full of chocolates, so many candies. But some of my favourites are missing.
And instead of being happy that I got such a big box I'm kinda sad.
What's wrong with me? Any suggestions?
It's like a great box of chocolate. I look at the picture on the box and get excited about all these candies waiting for me inside of the box. Then I open it and - as every year - there are some chocolates missing. Like someone else has taken them away before I was able to check the box. And as u probably imagined, these missing chocolates were my favorites! I want them back!!
The box is full of chocolates, so many candies. But some of my favourites are missing.
And instead of being happy that I got such a big box I'm kinda sad.
What's wrong with me? Any suggestions?
box of chocolates
Today's my day. It's the same as every year. Sitting here, doing nothing really important, just waiting for all the text messages, e-cards and calls, and being really surprised who remembers my birthday and who doesn't.
It's like a great box of chocolate. I look at the picture on the box and get excited about all these candies waiting for me inside of the box. Then I open it and - as every year - there are some chocolates missing. Like someone else has taken them away before I was able to check the box. And as u probably imagined, these missing chocolates were my favorites! I want them back!!
The box is full of chocolates, so many candies. But some of my favourites are missing.
And instead of being happy that I got such a big box I'm kinda sad.
What's wrong with me? Any suggestions?
It's like a great box of chocolate. I look at the picture on the box and get excited about all these candies waiting for me inside of the box. Then I open it and - as every year - there are some chocolates missing. Like someone else has taken them away before I was able to check the box. And as u probably imagined, these missing chocolates were my favorites! I want them back!!
The box is full of chocolates, so many candies. But some of my favourites are missing.
And instead of being happy that I got such a big box I'm kinda sad.
What's wrong with me? Any suggestions?
philosophy of life
"Don't give up!" that's not only an important line out of the second X Files movie "I Want To Believe", it's also what Frank Spotnitz wrote me at the signing in London.
When I asked Frank to write "to XXX" he added this sentence. When I realized what was written on that piece of paper I was like "omfg". The whole time in London was so great and this was sth like the cherry on the cake.
It didn't took long until I decided to get that sentence tattooed. It took more time to find a place for my newest tattoo idea.
And yesterday was the day. I got my new tattoo!! It's above the one I already had, over my right ankle. And what shall I say? I LOVE IT!
It's just what I need. This tattoo will always remind me of what's important in life. That, whatever should happen, you have to fight. You must go on. Life goes on and you have to make sure that you're on the road.
You'll always hit a snag. Like I do now. And like I did nearly a thousand times before. Some have been bigger some were small. But nevertheless I managed to go on. It doesn't matter how I went on, it's just important to go on.
I'm sure I'll find a way to solve my current problems. Even if it's easier to give up. Just stop, turn around and run away. But that's not allowed, because it says: Don't give up!
philosophy of life
"Don't give up!" that's not only an important line out of the second X Files movie "I Want To Believe", it's also what Frank Spotnitz wrote me at the signing in London.
When I asked Frank to write "to XXX" he added this sentence. When I realized what was written on that piece of paper I was like "omfg". The whole time in London was so great and this was sth like the cherry on the cake.
It didn't took long until I decided to get that sentence tattooed. It took more time to find a place for my newest tattoo idea.
And yesterday was the day. I got my new tattoo!! It's above the one I already had, over my right ankle. And what shall I say? I LOVE IT!
It's just what I need. This tattoo will always remind me of what's important in life. That, whatever should happen, you have to fight. You must go on. Life goes on and you have to make sure that you're on the road.
You'll always hit a snag. Like I do now. And like I did nearly a thousand times before. Some have been bigger some were small. But nevertheless I managed to go on. It doesn't matter how I went on, it's just important to go on.
I'm sure I'll find a way to solve my current problems. Even if it's easier to give up. Just stop, turn around and run away. But that's not allowed, because it says: Don't give up!
life's a bitch
So, that has been my first month at school. Time goes by very fast. Too fast. Now I've got two weeks of holidays. And I dunno what to do with my time.
Well, I could try to plan my upcoming lessons. I could clean the flat. I could complete my daughter's Australia Picture Book. I could unpack the last boxes. I could pull off the rest of the hangings in the hallway. Yer, I could do a lot of stuff, really useful stuff.
But at the moment I'm totally not in mood. All I want to do is to linger on my couch, watch a good chick flick and feel sorry for myself.
Life changed a lot. Sometimes I'm wondering how fast everything goes by. In two months my daughter will turn 4 and my boyfriend and me will have our third anniversary. My Dad died two years ago. I finished university after 5 years of studying. And now I've finished the first month of my trainee ship at school. Only 23 months to go. Time's running. Only three more months until Xmas. And then it's bye-bye 2008 and welcome 2009.
I'm thinking alot in these days. I think about life. About work. About love. About myself. About my friends. About family. But I don't come to any conclusions at all. I'm just thinking and thinking and thinking. It seems as there ain't any answers at all. It's just like thinking without knowing what I'm thinking about. And then I've got thoughts like: "Are u doing the right thing?" - "Is it worth all this trouble? All this work?" - "What am I doing?" - "How much can a heart take?" - "Why am I the way I am?" - "Why can't I just stop it?" - "What is life all about?" - "And after all who am I?"
All these questions are spinning around in my head. The only result is that I get horrible headaches.
Yer I know, must sound totally crazy. And ur probably right. Have u ever known that it's totally insane what ur doing but u couldn't stop it? If so then u know how I feel right now.
Maybe I need these two weeks to relax. To calm down. To sort my thoughts. To find myself back. To get myself back on the track.
But what if it didn't work? I'm afraid of the answer. I'd like to live on without thinking. Without feeling strange feelings. Without wondering.
I just want to live on.
Well, I could try to plan my upcoming lessons. I could clean the flat. I could complete my daughter's Australia Picture Book. I could unpack the last boxes. I could pull off the rest of the hangings in the hallway. Yer, I could do a lot of stuff, really useful stuff.
But at the moment I'm totally not in mood. All I want to do is to linger on my couch, watch a good chick flick and feel sorry for myself.
Life changed a lot. Sometimes I'm wondering how fast everything goes by. In two months my daughter will turn 4 and my boyfriend and me will have our third anniversary. My Dad died two years ago. I finished university after 5 years of studying. And now I've finished the first month of my trainee ship at school. Only 23 months to go. Time's running. Only three more months until Xmas. And then it's bye-bye 2008 and welcome 2009.
I'm thinking alot in these days. I think about life. About work. About love. About myself. About my friends. About family. But I don't come to any conclusions at all. I'm just thinking and thinking and thinking. It seems as there ain't any answers at all. It's just like thinking without knowing what I'm thinking about. And then I've got thoughts like: "Are u doing the right thing?" - "Is it worth all this trouble? All this work?" - "What am I doing?" - "How much can a heart take?" - "Why am I the way I am?" - "Why can't I just stop it?" - "What is life all about?" - "And after all who am I?"
All these questions are spinning around in my head. The only result is that I get horrible headaches.
Yer I know, must sound totally crazy. And ur probably right. Have u ever known that it's totally insane what ur doing but u couldn't stop it? If so then u know how I feel right now.
Maybe I need these two weeks to relax. To calm down. To sort my thoughts. To find myself back. To get myself back on the track.
But what if it didn't work? I'm afraid of the answer. I'd like to live on without thinking. Without feeling strange feelings. Without wondering.
I just want to live on.
life's a bitch
So, that has been my first month at school. Time goes by very fast. Too fast. Now I've got two weeks of holidays. And I dunno what to do with my time.
Well, I could try to plan my upcoming lessons. I could clean the flat. I could complete my daughter's Australia Picture Book. I could unpack the last boxes. I could pull off the rest of the hangings in the hallway. Yer, I could do a lot of stuff, really useful stuff.
But at the moment I'm totally not in mood. All I want to do is to linger on my couch, watch a good chick flick and feel sorry for myself.
Life changed a lot. Sometimes I'm wondering how fast everything goes by. In two months my daughter will turn 4 and my boyfriend and me will have our third anniversary. My Dad died two years ago. I finished university after 5 years of studying. And now I've finished the first month of my trainee ship at school. Only 23 months to go. Time's running. Only three more months until Xmas. And then it's bye-bye 2008 and welcome 2009.
I'm thinking alot in these days. I think about life. About work. About love. About myself. About my friends. About family. But I don't come to any conclusions at all. I'm just thinking and thinking and thinking. It seems as there ain't any answers at all. It's just like thinking without knowing what I'm thinking about. And then I've got thoughts like: "Are u doing the right thing?" - "Is it worth all this trouble? All this work?" - "What am I doing?" - "How much can a heart take?" - "Why am I the way I am?" - "Why can't I just stop it?" - "What is life all about?" - "And after all who am I?"
All these questions are spinning around in my head. The only result is that I get horrible headaches.
Yer I know, must sound totally crazy. And ur probably right. Have u ever known that it's totally insane what ur doing but u couldn't stop it? If so then u know how I feel right now.
Maybe I need these two weeks to relax. To calm down. To sort my thoughts. To find myself back. To get myself back on the track.
But what if it didn't work? I'm afraid of the answer. I'd like to live on without thinking. Without feeling strange feelings. Without wondering.
I just want to live on.
Well, I could try to plan my upcoming lessons. I could clean the flat. I could complete my daughter's Australia Picture Book. I could unpack the last boxes. I could pull off the rest of the hangings in the hallway. Yer, I could do a lot of stuff, really useful stuff.
But at the moment I'm totally not in mood. All I want to do is to linger on my couch, watch a good chick flick and feel sorry for myself.
Life changed a lot. Sometimes I'm wondering how fast everything goes by. In two months my daughter will turn 4 and my boyfriend and me will have our third anniversary. My Dad died two years ago. I finished university after 5 years of studying. And now I've finished the first month of my trainee ship at school. Only 23 months to go. Time's running. Only three more months until Xmas. And then it's bye-bye 2008 and welcome 2009.
I'm thinking alot in these days. I think about life. About work. About love. About myself. About my friends. About family. But I don't come to any conclusions at all. I'm just thinking and thinking and thinking. It seems as there ain't any answers at all. It's just like thinking without knowing what I'm thinking about. And then I've got thoughts like: "Are u doing the right thing?" - "Is it worth all this trouble? All this work?" - "What am I doing?" - "How much can a heart take?" - "Why am I the way I am?" - "Why can't I just stop it?" - "What is life all about?" - "And after all who am I?"
All these questions are spinning around in my head. The only result is that I get horrible headaches.
Yer I know, must sound totally crazy. And ur probably right. Have u ever known that it's totally insane what ur doing but u couldn't stop it? If so then u know how I feel right now.
Maybe I need these two weeks to relax. To calm down. To sort my thoughts. To find myself back. To get myself back on the track.
But what if it didn't work? I'm afraid of the answer. I'd like to live on without thinking. Without feeling strange feelings. Without wondering.
I just want to live on.
Fraggles Blues
Sitting at home, my boyfriend's at a party, kid's asleep. Noone online I could/want to talk to.
I feel tired but I don't wanna go to bed. Dunno what I'm up to.
Could do sth for my next lessons on Wednesday and Thursday. But I'm not in mood for work. Even working is kinda fun. The kids are cool. It's a great class, even my mentor is great. We really get along - auf einer Wellenlange, as the German say ;-)
Everything could be just fine but it's not. It's like I'm standing in my own light.
Sometimes I really hate it. I hate that I am who I am. That I am how I am. And I wish there would be a button to stop everything.
Think I'll get a lil bit depressive. It feels like I would. Hope this winter won't be a dark and cold one. I need light and warmth. I need to feel beloved. I know I am, but I need to feel it.
And at the moment it feels like the new glacial period. Or am I just not getting it? Am I to blind? To ignorant?
Maybe I should just do it like the Fraggles:
Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
I feel tired but I don't wanna go to bed. Dunno what I'm up to.
Could do sth for my next lessons on Wednesday and Thursday. But I'm not in mood for work. Even working is kinda fun. The kids are cool. It's a great class, even my mentor is great. We really get along - auf einer Wellenlange, as the German say ;-)
Everything could be just fine but it's not. It's like I'm standing in my own light.
Sometimes I really hate it. I hate that I am who I am. That I am how I am. And I wish there would be a button to stop everything.
Think I'll get a lil bit depressive. It feels like I would. Hope this winter won't be a dark and cold one. I need light and warmth. I need to feel beloved. I know I am, but I need to feel it.
And at the moment it feels like the new glacial period. Or am I just not getting it? Am I to blind? To ignorant?
Maybe I should just do it like the Fraggles:
Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
Fraggles Blues
Sitting at home, my boyfriend's at a party, kid's asleep. Noone online I could/want to talk to.
I feel tired but I don't wanna go to bed. Dunno what I'm up to.
Could do sth for my next lessons on Wednesday and Thursday. But I'm not in mood for work. Even working is kinda fun. The kids are cool. It's a great class, even my mentor is great. We really get along - auf einer Wellenlange, as the German say ;-)
Everything could be just fine but it's not. It's like I'm standing in my own light.
Sometimes I really hate it. I hate that I am who I am. That I am how I am. And I wish there would be a button to stop everything.
Think I'll get a lil bit depressive. It feels like I would. Hope this winter won't be a dark and cold one. I need light and warmth. I need to feel beloved. I know I am, but I need to feel it.
And at the moment it feels like the new glacial period. Or am I just not getting it? Am I to blind? To ignorant?
Maybe I should just do it like the Fraggles:
Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
I feel tired but I don't wanna go to bed. Dunno what I'm up to.
Could do sth for my next lessons on Wednesday and Thursday. But I'm not in mood for work. Even working is kinda fun. The kids are cool. It's a great class, even my mentor is great. We really get along - auf einer Wellenlange, as the German say ;-)
Everything could be just fine but it's not. It's like I'm standing in my own light.
Sometimes I really hate it. I hate that I am who I am. That I am how I am. And I wish there would be a button to stop everything.
Think I'll get a lil bit depressive. It feels like I would. Hope this winter won't be a dark and cold one. I need light and warmth. I need to feel beloved. I know I am, but I need to feel it.
And at the moment it feels like the new glacial period. Or am I just not getting it? Am I to blind? To ignorant?
Maybe I should just do it like the Fraggles:
Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.
time and neighbours
Long time no see. Well, had a lot to do. My traineeship in school started at the end of August and in two days I'll start to teach, too. Got a nice class with eleven kids and I think it'll be fine with them.
Uh, I just found my usb-stick. Was looking for it since last week, thought I lost it somewhere. And now I found it right under my printer :-o
Instead of blogging I should organize my lessons for this week. But I'm not in mood.
Our neighbours were here a few minutes ago. Gosh, these people are sooo naff!! Well, the dog of my boyfriend can't be alone at home, he always barks then. But we're trying and trying that he learns to be quiet. Now I can't take Merlin, the dog, with me to school. And my boyfriend also can't take Merlin to work. So he has to stay at home alone. And so he barks and barks and barks. I can understand that it's annoying but it's also annoying to listen to his gardening sounds the whole weekend. And it's also annoying getting told at what hours I'm allowed to wash my clothes and at which hours I'm not. And to top it, he really asked me if the bathroom would be the only place where we could put the washing machine. Oh no, of course not, we could also put it in the living room, no problem.
Gah!! Who is he? King Larry? *grrrrr*
Okay, in half an hour my boyfriend will come home from work. Guess I should start working on my lessons for Wednesday.
Uh, I just found my usb-stick. Was looking for it since last week, thought I lost it somewhere. And now I found it right under my printer :-o
Instead of blogging I should organize my lessons for this week. But I'm not in mood.
Our neighbours were here a few minutes ago. Gosh, these people are sooo naff!! Well, the dog of my boyfriend can't be alone at home, he always barks then. But we're trying and trying that he learns to be quiet. Now I can't take Merlin, the dog, with me to school. And my boyfriend also can't take Merlin to work. So he has to stay at home alone. And so he barks and barks and barks. I can understand that it's annoying but it's also annoying to listen to his gardening sounds the whole weekend. And it's also annoying getting told at what hours I'm allowed to wash my clothes and at which hours I'm not. And to top it, he really asked me if the bathroom would be the only place where we could put the washing machine. Oh no, of course not, we could also put it in the living room, no problem.
Gah!! Who is he? King Larry? *grrrrr*
Okay, in half an hour my boyfriend will come home from work. Guess I should start working on my lessons for Wednesday.
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