running is easy, staying is hard

The last days, including today, suck.
Okay, school was fine, even my lesson today was great. The kids worked well and seemed to have a lot of fun. And also the letters they wrote me for my birthday are sooo cute. So school's fine. But everything else just sucks.
I dunno where to start. Had a root canal treatment yesterday, and now there's a huge cavity in my tooth and my dentist won't fill it before next Monday cause he's afraid that another inflammation could appear. So I can't eat very well and need to rinse my mouth with chamomile tea. I FUCKING HATE CHAMOMILE TEA!!
But it's not just that tooth thing.
Sometimes I just want to runaway. Far far away where no one would ever find me. Just being alone, in silence.
Today I just had to fight back my tears. All the pressure, all the work, the responsibility, sometimes just get too much. But I can't run away. I need to stay, need to be calm.
Is it too much when I want a lil more help? Just a lil bit more?
What's so difficult to understand a few things, to see a few things?
I really don't get it. Maybe I really want too much. Maybe it's just my fault.
I don't know. At the moment I've got the feeling as I don't know anything. My head's empty, but therefor my heart's beating really fast.
Guess I'm running away on the inside.