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I'm tired. I need more sleep.
But when shall I get that sleep? After work I'll pick up my lil one and spend the rest of the day with her. After dinner I have to prepare my next lessons.
By the way: Will have to teach 8 lessons instead of 2 from next week on. Dunno how to do that.
After preparing my lessons I'll check emails and message boards. And then, finally, I can go to bed.
And when I really manage it to go to bed before 12am my boyfriend keeps me awake by reading me a story. Great. Thanks for not letting me sleep. Gah!
No, I really don't need my sleep. It's not that I have to fight to keep my eyes open at school.
At the moment I'm listening to P!nk's new album "Funhouse". It's calmer, it's more emotional than her other ones. And I love it. It totally fits my current state of mind.
I wish I could get out of it. Find the button.
What a fucking mixture: Lack of sleep and being depressed.
What about u, any ideas?
I'm tired. I need more sleep.
But when shall I get that sleep? After work I'll pick up my lil one and spend the rest of the day with her. After dinner I have to prepare my next lessons.
By the way: Will have to teach 8 lessons instead of 2 from next week on. Dunno how to do that.
After preparing my lessons I'll check emails and message boards. And then, finally, I can go to bed.
And when I really manage it to go to bed before 12am my boyfriend keeps me awake by reading me a story. Great. Thanks for not letting me sleep. Gah!
No, I really don't need my sleep. It's not that I have to fight to keep my eyes open at school.
At the moment I'm listening to P!nk's new album "Funhouse". It's calmer, it's more emotional than her other ones. And I love it. It totally fits my current state of mind.
I wish I could get out of it. Find the button.
What a fucking mixture: Lack of sleep and being depressed.
What about u, any ideas?
The last days, including today, suck.
Okay, school was fine, even my lesson today was great. The kids worked well and seemed to have a lot of fun. And also the letters they wrote me for my birthday are sooo cute. So school's fine. But everything else just sucks.
I dunno where to start. Had a root canal treatment yesterday, and now there's a huge cavity in my tooth and my dentist won't fill it before next Monday cause he's afraid that another inflammation could appear. So I can't eat very well and need to rinse my mouth with chamomile tea. I FUCKING HATE CHAMOMILE TEA!!
But it's not just that tooth thing.
Sometimes I just want to runaway. Far far away where no one would ever find me. Just being alone, in silence.
Today I just had to fight back my tears. All the pressure, all the work, the responsibility, sometimes just get too much. But I can't run away. I need to stay, need to be calm.
Is it too much when I want a lil more help? Just a lil bit more?
What's so difficult to understand a few things, to see a few things?
I really don't get it. Maybe I really want too much. Maybe it's just my fault.
I don't know. At the moment I've got the feeling as I don't know anything. My head's empty, but therefor my heart's beating really fast.
Guess I'm running away on the inside.
The last days, including today, suck.
Okay, school was fine, even my lesson today was great. The kids worked well and seemed to have a lot of fun. And also the letters they wrote me for my birthday are sooo cute. So school's fine. But everything else just sucks.
I dunno where to start. Had a root canal treatment yesterday, and now there's a huge cavity in my tooth and my dentist won't fill it before next Monday cause he's afraid that another inflammation could appear. So I can't eat very well and need to rinse my mouth with chamomile tea. I FUCKING HATE CHAMOMILE TEA!!
But it's not just that tooth thing.
Sometimes I just want to runaway. Far far away where no one would ever find me. Just being alone, in silence.
Today I just had to fight back my tears. All the pressure, all the work, the responsibility, sometimes just get too much. But I can't run away. I need to stay, need to be calm.
Is it too much when I want a lil more help? Just a lil bit more?
What's so difficult to understand a few things, to see a few things?
I really don't get it. Maybe I really want too much. Maybe it's just my fault.
I don't know. At the moment I've got the feeling as I don't know anything. My head's empty, but therefor my heart's beating really fast.
Guess I'm running away on the inside.
My lil brother just told me that he and a friend of him won a flight to Oz which includes two weeks travelling around in a camping van.
And what do I do? I start crying. I just can't feel happy for him. I really can't.
That's not right. He doesn't deserve being in Oz. I mean, although he's my brother, he often behaves like the biggest asshole on earth. And believe me, it's not easy saying this about ur own brother.
Anyway, he was never really interested in Australia, he even doesn't know the capital of Oz. I'm pretty sure he believes it's Sydney. He thinks koalas are bears and when u ask him how the rock in the middle of Australia is called he wouldn't have any answer.
And now he's allowed to travel around, to be there were I belong. At home. That's so not right!!
I feel terrible because I can't be happy for him. I tried, but I can't.
Yer, maybe I am jealous. Maybe I'm not better than him. But I do know that he doesn't belong to Oz.
Fuck.
I miss Australia. I miss it so badly.
My lil brother just told me that he and a friend of him won a flight to Oz which includes two weeks travelling around in a camping van.
And what do I do? I start crying. I just can't feel happy for him. I really can't.
That's not right. He doesn't deserve being in Oz. I mean, although he's my brother, he often behaves like the biggest asshole on earth. And believe me, it's not easy saying this about ur own brother.
Anyway, he was never really interested in Australia, he even doesn't know the capital of Oz. I'm pretty sure he believes it's Sydney. He thinks koalas are bears and when u ask him how the rock in the middle of Australia is called he wouldn't have any answer.
And now he's allowed to travel around, to be there were I belong. At home. That's so not right!!
I feel terrible because I can't be happy for him. I tried, but I can't.
Yer, maybe I am jealous. Maybe I'm not better than him. But I do know that he doesn't belong to Oz.
Fuck.
I miss Australia. I miss it so badly.
